Insecurities, End Times, and Viruses

This is a blog about my insecurities, the end times, and viruses.

Controversial

Yep, in the following pages, I will attempt to pull the three random topics together so that the fire that burns at my heart will simmer down.

Some of this is controversial and I cannot believe my fingers are participating by typing the words from my keyboard. Why? Because, in the past, I’ve stayed away from controversial topics in my blogs.

But as is the way of the Lord with me, when there is a topic that keeps me from sleeping, needles at me in the waking hours, and begins to burn that hole in my chest, I know it’s time to open my computer and get to typing.

To type or not to type has been a struggle for days. I’ve avoided this blog like the plague (pun intended).

You see, though I write about being brave and encourage all of you to do daring acts in the name of the Lord, I have this secret little fear that keeps me from approaching topics you might find hard to deal with.

It’s About Rejection

Here it is: I have a fear of rejection.

Seriously. In all my bravado, down deep, I really, really, really, want you to like and approve of what I’m writing.

I know, however, that some of you, after reading this blog, are going to shake your head and say something like, I knew it, that girl is not vaxxed, reading conspiracy theories, and probably has a foil, antennae hat at her bedside.

But in order to practice what I encourage, I’m going to do this.

The Salon Was First

It all started at the salon.

You know, you can learn just about anything by listening to people talk with their hair stylist. Such was the case with a recent haircut. We all wore the mandatory masks, and me with my hearing issues, I can’t believe I was able to hear the woman in the chair next to me rant on and on about how nonvaxed people were soooooo stuuuupid. The dialogue eventually spilled out of her chair and onto my own stylist who had those sharp scissors in hand. So when my gal asked if I’d been vaxed, my answer was a meek and quiet, “Not yet.”

I felt stupid, guilty, and after setting my next appointment with my stylist before I left the salon, I came home, and like a chicken, canceled all future hair cuts.

Next came the lunch with friends.

The inevitable and dreaded subject of vaxes came up. Because I work with an international ministry and many (including myself and my husband) travel internationally, the issue of mandatory vaxes for flights or certain destinations is always there, the unspoken question at the end of every conversation concerning upcoming trips. In this case, one of us was about to leave to return to her home country that was in the process of locking down with new restrictions taking shape. The question popped out of someone’s mouth and the discussion began. None at the table had yet to receive the shot. But here’s where it got weird, as we discussed the pros the cons, the limits this might have on our personal ministries and our agency, every time someone in the restaurant, including the waiter, passed close to our table, we dropped our volume to a notch above whisper or stopped the conversation until all ears were clear.

As we left, I felt like an imposter. Why, in the land of free speech, would I feel the need to whisper as if I talked about a crime I’d committed?

And then there was that day the one person who mentioned that some of her distant family members had contracted that particular virus that’s going around and how, well … they made their decision about not getting vaxed … and if you make that decision and get the dreaded virus … you … get this … deserve it.

Ouch!!

And like most of you, I’ve read scathing social media posts from both sides of the aisle: pro and con vax opinions. What startles me is the judgement — how we, the unvaxed are people without hearts. Or intelligence, it seems.

As I contemplated Hippa privacy rules of days gone by; the my body, my choice movement of abortion; and how I as a 62 year-old woman today, can identify as a 50 year-old male tomorrow and be accepted into the men’s room … well, how in the world did my decision to fight the virus in an alternative method become a point of shame?

It’s not right.

I should not feel shameful.

No More Shame

And yet, that is exactly the point of the fear mongering. Spread fear and where fear does not take root, sprinkle in guilt and shame and you’ve got the makings or a civil war.

This is but one reason the Lord’s Word continually tells us to fear not. And this is a good place to insert Joshua 1:9:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

And then … and then … there was the daughters-with-Covid incident. A friend and coworker’s daughter, living in another state developed Covid and was very sick for days. One week later, my daughter developed Covid and was sick for days, but didn’t have as many symptoms as my friend’s daughter. Both women are in their twenties, both live alone, both their mothers were in distress.

The difference between the two? Vaxcines. My friend’s daughter has been fully vaxed and still wore a mask at work (some). My daughter is not and works where few people wear masks.

Another difference? My friend and coworker asked publicly for prayer, even on social media. I, asked only for prayer from a few people I felt I could trust not to judge my precious child.

Both daughters have recovered. Both daughters are thankful for prayer.

But that was the last straw for me. No longer, I decided, was I going to let what other people thought about my current health status or my family’s decisions about how we deal with a global pandemic, keep me from asking for prayer.

And I realized, if I have been silenced, so have others.

But how do we break out of the silence and yet speak in a way that isn’t equally as damaging to those who have chosen to vax? How do we bridge this gap and have open, healthy dialogue about what to do with this pandemic?

Finding Answers

I turned to the Word.

God’s Word hosts the answer to all of life’s questions and when it comes to illness, the answers are clear. It’s not a question of vaxines. It’s a question of prayer.

Matthew 8:16-17 “When evening had come, they brought to Him many who were demon possessed. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick, {17} that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying: “He Himself took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses.”

At the cross, Jesus bore our sicknesses. It is finished. We, though temporarily dwelling in broken and decaying bodies, will one day very soon be in imperishable bodies. The prophecy concerning Christ’s coming and holy power is fulfilled. Period.

Deuteronomy 32:29 “See now that I Myself am He! There is no god besides me. I put to death and I bring to life, I have wounded and I will heal, and no one can deliver out of My hand.” ~

God is either in control or He isn’t. There is no fence riding to be done here. Am I going to believe He is master of my fate, or am I going to follow man’s new rule born of evil intent? I choose Sovereignty. It takes all the hard stuff out of my hands.

I’m not saying the Lord doesn’t use doctors to diagnose or medicine to heal, but ultimately, life and death are in our God’s hands alone.

James 5:14-15 – Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord…”

Clearly the biblical mandate for illness is collective prayer from the saints. As Christians, we are called to pray when one of our own is ill. This is God’s unquestionable will.

I also contemplated the end times and how we’ve been warned, time and again, that in the days leading up to the rapture and Great Tribulation, things are going to get spooky including the onset of plagues. Why then is there so much fear, shame, and argument about the current pandemic? We should have seen it coming and been spiritually prepared.

2 Timothy 3:1 -“But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.”  

Matthew 24:7  – “and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes’ ”

Mark 13:7  -‘When you hear of wars and rumours of wars do not be frightened’ ”

Luke 21:11 – “ … and there will be great earthquakes, and in various places plagues and famines; and there will be terrors and great signs from heaven’ ”

Mark 13:19 -“For those days will be a time of tribulation such as has not occurred since the beginning of the creation which God created until now.’ ” –

We’re also given a look as to how these wild and wooly things can happen right under our righteous noses.

2 Timothy 3: 1-7: But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these. 6 For among them are those who slip into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

2 Thessalonians 2:11-13 – “For this reason God will send upon them a deluding influence so that they will believe what is false, in order that they all may be judged who did not believe the truth, but took pleasure in wickedness. But we should always give thanks to God for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God has chosen you from the beginning for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and faith in the truth.”

My Journey

In case anyone is curious as to how I came to my current decision regarding the shot, I researched both sides of the aisle. I had a lot of questions and wasn’t finding a lot of consistent answers, which, ultimately kept me from making the choice to proceed. I am currently confident that my choice is not putting others at risk as news about the massive vax efforts continue to morph. I compiled a list of news’ statements from sources that have opposing views so that I could read it all in one place. This helped me visually see the opposing data and sort of organize it mentally. With my limited understandings of viruses and how they mutate, I have decided to wait until further information is available.

In no way am I advocating against or for the vax. I want to state here that the science is not clear as there are very opposing views on just what the vax can and cannot do. Some doctors and biologists have even stated that the massive vax is contributing to current outbreaks of new viral variants.

I’ll leave that for each of you to determine for yourself. I do encourage thorough research.

So now you can delete. But I hope you won’t.

My encouragement is to constantly turn to the Word, especially in the days ahead. This is where our truth lives, as relevant today as it was two-thousand plus years ago. There is no news article, no government, no freedom cause, no doctor’s opinion that can take the place of the Wisdom of God. We need to seek spiritual wisdom like our lives depend upon it. Because … our lives depend upon it.

Thanks for indulging me.

If I perish, I perish,

Laurie